Friday, September 30, 2011

I Need a Buddy

 

Today was a busy day between getting little girl # 2 to the doctor for a 2 year well child check and a meeting for work this afternoon.  I did manage to get to the gym around 4:00pm.  Three miles on the treadmill at a 9:40 pace. I decided that I wasn’t going to get any faster running slow.  So, even though 9:40 isn’t much faster than my usual 10 min mile it felt like I was FLYING.  My legs were burning after that pace.  It’s tough to get this much weight moving that fast.

Jen3

I know, I bore myself.  I need to be a better runner to be more entertaining I guess.

Lately it’s been hard to find the motivation to get one foot in front of the other.  I need someone to kick my butt on a daily basis especially if I am gonna be a better runner.

How in the world do you find a running buddy when you don’t know many people?  I’ve lived in Terre Haute for 9 years but have avoided civilization like the plague.  I probably wouldn't know anyone except for the fact I have to work in order to have things like food and clothing.  And at said job, they make me actually work with other people. Can you believe that?

 

In other new:

Here is what my living room looked like today.  Like a Barbie convention gone wrong.

barieroughnight

If I had a nickel for every night like this I’d have… well nothing.

barbieken

Could be a shark bite or a bar fight, I’m not sure.

Things could always be worse.  They could have been partying with the potato head family that was under the foot stool.  Those taters are totally crazy.

 

Check out this family.  Aren’t they precious?

Family

Don’t ask how many takes it took to get a decent shot.

 

Three cheers for the free church directory photo!!!  The little one looks like she is plotting something. 

 

I promise that I will be more interesting at a later date.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Make the itching stop

 

I have this little problem, ok so I have a lot of problems but I digress.  The most prominent problem lately is my skin.  It’s on fire.  For the last three weeks I have had a contact dermatitis that itches SOOOOOOOO bad and as I have previously stated I avoid the doctor at most costs.  (Mainly cause I really don’t want to see doctors on my days off.)

So the itching got bad enough last night that I woke up and took a Benadryl.  Drugs are wonderful.  The first itch free night in weeks.  The only problem was a feeling of my head traveling in a fog separate from my body for most of the morning.

 

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Sorry your use of performance-enhancing drugs hasn't enhanced your performance.

After climbing out of that fog I made it to the gym (rain delay).  I spent most of the time on the treadmill lying to myself just to get through.  I must be a good liar, cause I convinced my self to go 3.5 miles.  It took about 36 min and then I walked another 10.  I spent a little time lifting with my arms to prevent that old lady flag arm flab that could eventually  creep up on me.

Funny Congratulations Ecard: Congratulations on losing, gaining, and losing weight.

Wouldn’t you like to know what’s in here…

bubbakeg

It’s actually water, don’t get your panties in a bunch.

And this is my snack tonight.

peanutbutterhoney

PB and Honey

Best snack ever! Put it on some crackers or bread and you’ve got yourself a night of heaven. 

I still haven’t had pancakes…

Holy Baby, Batman

 

Monday after work I hot stepped it over to the fitness center to try my first run in a week.  I managed 3 miles before my foot started to feel some pain so I quit there.  I ran around a 10:29 mile and I’m ok with that.  I didn’t get to go yesterday after work but I plan on running after getting this drivel posted.

 

I found this picture and am now very disturbed.

 

pregnant

What exactly is this?

If having a baby was this easy I’d totally do it again. Step one- remove stomach panel. Step- 2 remove baby. Step 3- replace perfectly formed stomach panel. Step 4-Enjoy!!!

 

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Don’t be fooled by their smiles.  They are plotting a plan to take over the world.

 

These two yahoos were a lot more difficult that that.  Which is why I now have to run like the wind to get rid of the “damage” caused by pregnancy and hope that I can one day feel like myself again in some skinny pants.

 

This is for Jen:

 funny wedding ecards

The mutants at table #9?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I Just Want Some Pancakes…

 

I woke up this morning to a little girl in my face asking for pancakes.  She gets me.  So I rolled out of bed for some fried cake deliciousness.  Exactly two seconds after walking into the kitchen the power went out.  OUT!!!! Crushing all my dreams with it. Craptastic…

pizza

Little girl #1 and I made “lunch”, doesn’t that look appetizing?

I called Duke Energy to find out that the estimated time of power restoration was 2 o’clock.  Really? I can’t wait all day for fried cake covered in syrup.  Don’t they know this?  And how can I rest my injuries and be lazy with no entertainment? 

aftonman

 

But you can all quit worrying because obviously have my internet back now.  And I can cook real food again.  So I’m not in danger anymore, thanks for your concern.  But I still haven’t had any pancakes…

Friday, September 23, 2011

Put On A Happy Face

 

It has been a while since I worked all three of my 12 hour shifts in a row and I forgot how crappy that it is.

jesswork

Notice all the crap that I have on my shirt. A name badge, three pens, and a special walkie talkie, patients can find me anywhere with that.

 

My feet hurt, I’m tired, and I’m am emotionally drained from dealing with everything that comes with taking care of sick people, some of which believe that the hospital is their own personal Hilton Suites.  Sometimes I want a job where I sit at a desk in a cubicle and don’t talk to anyone all day.  That would be my dream, some days.

office space  What the movie Office Space can teach us about Personal Development

Last night when I got home this was waiting for me.

moscato

Sweet googly moogly.  A nice glass of moscato and and episode of Community.  At least the night ended well for me.

The foot feels alright today, but I don’t know if I’m gonna push it with running.  It seems like I never really wait long enough to recover from an injury.  But who needs feet? Really?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

So Long Feet

 

Since Sunday my left foot has been hurting and after 12 hours on my feet today it feels really good.  And because I think I’m a doctor, I’ve diagnosed myself with a stress fracture and since I’m really a nurse I will avoid going to the doctor to keep from really finding out what's really wrong with my foot.  I’m just gonna take the rest of the week off to “rest” my foot, which could prove problematic due to the next two days involving working on my feet for 12 hours at a time.

 

So…

 

elliottwave

I will re-evaluate at the end of the week and see how things feel.  I also have a more minor problem with my right foot.  You might want to  look away…

toenail

This toe nail just grew back after my race in June.  But thanks to 6 special miles this past Saturday I think that nail is going to jump ship again.

 

CRAPPY FEET!!!!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Mount Squashmore

 

After spending my Saturday morning running with a bunch of strangers, most of which run faster than I do, I spent another 3 or 4 agonizing hours waiting for and suffering through a “Pumpkin” parade all in the name of motherhood.  Sure I was sweaty, sore and really, really, REALLY hungry but why not watch horses poop and politicians pass out candy in an effort to obtain my vote. (Suckers don’t know I live in Indiana and can’t vote in Central Illinois, mua hahahaha, insert devilish grin)

elliecandy

I had my girls on candy like white on rice.  Little girl #2 even suffered a slight case of road rash to the nose in order to get a dark chocolate Milky Way.  Her big old head pulled her forward when she reached down while standing on a curb. She’s at least got her priorities straight.

ellienose

She also bounced right back after spotting Clifford walk by in the parade exactly 2.7 seconds after falling off the curb on her nose.

It doesn’t look as bad in the picture but it is.  What’s really bad is that the next day she got really mad and rubbed on her nose and broke the site open and the whole end of her nose is covered in a dark red scab.  Super great for the 2 year pictures that she needs to have.

DarthVadar

Darth Vadar and some Storm Trooper. Really? only the bad guys, couldn’t find a wookie? Goes along with the politicians.

moose

That’s right moose.  You better bring candy next time.

MountSquashmore

I did say it was a pumpkin festival.

And after 6 marching bands, 5 sets of cheerleaders, some Shriners in teeny tiny cars, some random cartoon characters and an impromptu traveling street volleyball game we called it quits and hitchhiked back home to get my niece, Ali, ready for homecoming.

alihomecomingalihomecoming2

No, but I might slip you some pink eye.

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Right after this photo, the paparazzi swarmed and we had to take cover.

alihomecoming4

I wish I had her legs, Oh to be 15 again…

I did her hair and make-up which could have been dangerous considering I have no formal training, but don’t tell her that, I might be able to charge her the next time.  Feel free to hire me for any future homecoming events.  I can also be persuaded to do proms, bat mitzvahs, and the occasional wedding.

Morton 10K

 

I couldn’t convince Jen to run in a tutu but this girl sure did.

mortontutu

Pretty sly of me.  I was to embarrassed to get any closer for a better shot. But the outfit was for breast cancer awareness so I can’t hate on that.

The race was pretty fun considering we were second guessing getting up at that ungodly hour.  But since I paid to be there I was getting my butt up to Morton rain or shine.

 

JencrapheadJesssmiteme

Remember I will help choose your nursing home when you can’t wipe your own butt.

The day started out kind of chilly in the high 40’s but by race time it was in the low 60’s or high 50’s and slightly overcast. Perfect! We had an excellent parking space, seriously two blocks from the start line. The corals were a kind of free for all and you had to organize yourself by pace. But overall it seems fairly organized for a smaller race. 793 participants on the 10K.  We even ran into some friends while in the coral but thankfully no one I didn’t want to see.

We even finished.

jessmorton

I spent a lot of time chasing that lady down and she still beat me. Crap!

Jenmorton

I tried to pull the tow rope harder but she just wouldn’t move any faster.

I finished 607 of 793 and Jen finished 610 of 793.  And the best part is that we were not last!!!!  Official time is 64 minutes but my Garmin has me at 63 minutes.  They had chip timing but they started every one at the same time but it took a good 30 seconds to get to the start line which is where I started my watch.  This is the time I am going with. 

That girl who calls herself my sister likes to sprint in the beginning so she set us a pace of a blazing 10:00 min mile.  The first two miles went as such with mile three slowing down to 10:15, mile 4 was 10:22, mile 5 was 10:37, and mile 6 picked back up to 10:18 with me finishing the last 0.2 miles at a 9:17 pace.  Blazing speed, I know. Don’t be jealous of my super fastness. 

girlsincar

The girls offered to drive us home. How sweet.

But instead we waited around for the great pumpkin parade and caught massive amounts of candy.  The end.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Fish Bowls for All

 

The last two days have been spent in a whirlwind of germs and medications.  Just a normal day of work for this girl.  In fact yesterdays day was so hectic(you know, saving lives and stuff)  that we all decided to meet for a “post-game conference” at 7th & Elm, a nice pub near the hospital to debrief.

Fishbowl2

My girl, Mandy, and I tackling a giant straw. She looks slightly surprised.

They had a special on fish bowls, so why the heck not? It had been that kind of day… And by the way we ended up only drinking about a fourth of that bowl between two people and gave the rest to another table who seemed a little more serious about their drinks.

 

Fishbowl

That’s Tish in the back ground acting like she doesn’t want her picture taken.  I know better.

Funny side story,  my co-worker in the background above, her name is Tish Bole, which rhymes with Fish Bowl.  This always makes me laugh.  Listen, I know I’m the mental equivalent of a 12 year old and I’m ok with that.

debangry

Sorry Mom, I’ll try to grow up faster.

It was a good time had by all.  Today I’m getting ready to travel the 150 or so miles to my Mom’s house to run that blasted 10K with my sister.  Let’s hope we don’t die from shame of slowness.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Will Ferrell in the Haute!!!


It’s been an almost news worthy day here in the “Armpit of America”.  For those of you who don’t know where that is, it’s Terre Haute, IN.  And it does really have a certain smell here.  Something you have to experience to believe.

willferrell2
Would you believe that my husband ran into Will Ferrell today at 7th & Wabash?  I didn’t believe it until I saw his post to facebook today as well as other random Will Ferrell stalker photos.  I lead a very boring life here in the midwest and this pretty much was the talk of the day.  Can you say loser? (and by loser I mean this girl)
willferrell
Why yes Will, I have some time between my upper lip waxing and my mole removal.
In fact, I didn’t even know all this hubub was going on until much later in the day.  I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical and sprinted a mile at the gym then meet up with my friend amber for lunch.
amberjess
I couldn’t come up with anything appropriate to post with both she and I in the picture so I went way back in the files to get a “post game conference” picture.  That’s what we call getting a drink after spending 12 hours saving lives.

Anyhoooo, at lunch we figured out we had missed the bus and realized that we could have been stalking Will Ferrell all morning. (Don’t think I’ll go back to that dark hair look again, I appear vampirish)

Oh, well.  I got my workout in, it wasn’t fun but its done.  And I just realized how ADD this post has been.  I promise to be more organized next time.

What's the most famous person you have ever run into?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Racing Weight

 

This girl, AKA my sister Jen, and I are going to run a 10K this coming Saturday.

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She’s “special.”

Don’t ask why she has a tutu, just know that I bought it and it gets used often.

Due to the pending race I did not run a long distance today.  Only 2.5 miles but I did do some work with free weights and the exercise ball.  During this run I encountered two angry dogs who made threats against my life as well as called me names.  At least this is how it seemed when they came barreling towards me down the road.  I also found a very depressing and somewhat disturbing scene of a dead turtle with his shell broken in half and his insides spilling out.  That turtle keeps popping in my head, totally gross.

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I don’t wanna run anymore…

I know Jen, but your gonna do it whether you like it or not, you can complain the whole time with me and then we will eat big greasy cheeseburgers afterwards.  Buck up, buttercup!!!

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It’s a gigantic toddler.

We will also be getting this juvenile delinquent ready for Homecoming.  I plan on posting plenty of pictures of this process in order to embarrass her properly.  Until then I’m taking it easy this week and will be reading through a new book that I purchased called “Racing Weight” by Matt Fitzgerald.

 I bought the quick start edition because I’m lazy and want the cliff notes version.  It’s basically a book for athletes that need to lose fat but maintain the ability to train and reach their “racing” weight.  It’s not a fad diet but a very systematic approach to eating and exercise to keep things in balance for the “elite” athlete.

Now I’m no “elite” athlete but I also know my workouts suffer when I try to “diet”.  I need a plan, to know what to give my body in order to train well and get better.

I also read about weight loss in correlation to your mile times.  It was probably on the internet somewhere but from what I remember you can cut around 3 seconds off your mile for every pound you lose.  Well, I’ve got like 40 more pounds to lose.  That would be 2 minutes off my mile.  I could run like the wind at that pace.

So, I’ll read through the book and give it a try and let you know how it goes.

 

Do you feel you are in your best “racing” shape? I know I’m not…yet.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Rain, Rain, Go Away

 

I’ve said it before, but I’m a fair weather runner.  So when I looked outside this morning while getting the girls ready for school and all I could see was gray, light gray, dark gray, and more crappy gray; it made me fell the need for some happy pills. Running in a misty drizzle isn’t my, or my hairs, idea of fun.  I wanted to do a longer run today (rain free preferably) and those just aren’t as fun on the treadmill (but there’s less rain) and I never tend to push myself on the treadmill like I should.

Jessforpresident

I’m super excieted about the rain.

But to the gym and the treadmill I went.  A lot of other people had this idea as well seeing as the gym was hopping when I got there at 8:15am.  Now it was mostly an elderly crowd but there were some young spry ones floating around too.

Cranky

She’s just wants to come to the concert in my head.

It was a sweaty, messy 6 miles ( I probably would have got just as wet running outside).  Most of it spent with a little old lady eyeballing me while I sang to myself. (She’s probably just jealous that she doesn’t sound angelic like me)  I later weighted my shirt and pants to see how much I was sweating and they weighted in at a hefty 2.5 lbs.  It was a serious waterfall draining from my head today.

DSC_0129

Notice the color difference from above.  I’m beastly.

After the run I did about 3 sets of 25 sit ups just to round out a good workout, or to fool myself into thinking that I’m some sort of athlete, and I was done.  I’ve got a 10K race coming up next weekend, this girl could probably use some better training methods. (insert sad face here)

rock-hard-abs-on-girl-exercising

Now I’m gonna plan some fun for a date tonight with big D.  He turns 31 tomorrow.  Shhhhhh, don’t let him know that I spilled his age.  He’s a little touchy about that subject.

215130_1029245012339_1261758468_30115198_4710_n[1]

It’s ok DJ, we still love you even though you are old.

We were so young in this picture.  That was pre-kids.  In fact I believe I was pregnant there. Boy, now I’m feeling old… well crap!  What makes you feel old?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I need a bodyguard

 

So I am currently watching “The Bodyguard" which I’ve never seen before.  How have I missed this gem?  I am now sporting a mild crush on Kevin Costner circa 1992.

the-bodyguard

I could take or leave Whitney, sorry girl.

 

And looked up a picture of the kid who plays her son in the movie.  Can you say ooogaaa ooogaa?

 

Someone sure grew up…

 

Todays run was 4 good mile at a 10:25 pace.  I feel good there, of course I wish I was faster but that’s just gonna take more effort than I’m willing to put in right now.  The weather was awesome.  I love running in the morning when it’s in the high 50’s.  Any more or any less and I’m pretty miserable and spend most of the run complaining to myself.

 

What makes for your perfect run?