Saturday, June 28, 2014

Work is so much WORK!!!


This body was not designed for hot weather.  It needs a nice moderate climate that requires such clothing as jeans and light jacket; perhaps a lovely decorative scarf.  The pacific northwest perhaps.  Of course we all want what we don’t have. (like skin that doesn’t fry at the mere threat of sunlight.)

After little girl #1 and #2 had gymnastics class we came home a worked in the yard.  I successfully rescued two evergreen bushes from their captor (the ground), trimmed some twigs, sticks, freaking huge branches from some trees, and uncovered some paving stones that I remembered used to be a small walkway from the porch to the driveway. We are buying my grandparents home and after living in it for a year I have decided that things need to be done that make it “mine” as opposed to “grandpa’s house”. So I started with outside improvements, hence all the yard work today.

this is actual footage of me working

There is now a nice little sun burn on my back, cause I’m an idiot, and my lower back is killing me from the chunk of time I spent hunched over pavement pulling weeks and liberating stones from the ground. But I feel accomplished.  And then I ran 4.5 miles at a 10:10 pace which is like lighting for these hunks of meat attached to my torso. Plus I started season 2 of 24, which is starting off much better than season 1. I’m seeing a lot of runs with me catching up with Jack Bauer’s high jinx across Los Angeles.

This image disturbs me in such a way that I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.  Jen? You?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Arms of Fire


3 miles on the treadmill and a random workout video later and I’m pooped.  Not so much from the running but from following the instructions of a skinny minny woman in a tiny leotard.  This particular video was a “body ballet sculpting” video, whatever that means!  The reviews say it’s the same woman that trained Natalie Portman for The Black Swan but I think she is just a woman who has perfected the art of torture.  You know, the kind of torture that’s like watching a crazy woman prantcersize, but in your arms.

Seriously, my arms are on fire.  Who does she think she is making my muscles do things that they haven’t done in years?!?!?  I can’t even imagine what they are gonna feel like in the morning when they feel like this now.  I’m in for it.  At least it wasn’t as bad as this workout.

Even though I think that woman may make my arms fall off I plan on returning to the torture; something that hurts that bad must be doing something good. It’s what I’m telling myself these days.

Just lie to me, ok, and make me think it’s making a difference.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

How Else Am I Going to Know I Stink?


Anger and hatred do not adequately express the appropriate feeling I have had towards my computer over this last week.  Many a thought has crossed my mind of just tossing it out the second floor window at home and watching it explode on the concrete, or taking a bat to the darn thing a few thousand times.  And just when I begin to come to terms with the thought that my 4 year old laptop might be wheezing its last breath I realize I have been mad at the wrong inanimate object!!!!

The wi-fi switch somehow just magically turns itself off rending my internet useless.  I would repeatedly turn the internet switch back on and just as quickly it would be turned off again.   And then I started to notice a pattern.  Clue #1- no one else in the house seemed to have difficulty with this problem. Clue #2- it happened every time I get on the computer which just happens to be after my runs. Clue #3- it’s me and I’m dumb. (I mean it only took a week for me to figure out what was going on.)  I hate technology (that I don’t understand).

Every time I go to download my daily run from my Garmin 405 I have to use the ANT+ stick to transfer the data and every time I tried to do that it would shut off my internet!!!! WTF!!!!! I have had this watch and computer for around the same time and this is the first time I have had this problem.  From what I can figure, Garmin is doing some sort of fancy upgrade on its website for downloading activities but it can’t yet support the 405 (shocker!), rendering the product only half useful in my eyes.  I rely on that little bugger to tell me just how mediocre I ran so that I can pretend that I am going to get better.  What am I supposed to do if I can’t do that????

I’m just lost right now and I can’t even begin to express how mad I am at Garmin. I ran 5 miles today and I really wanted to look at my splits without using that dang bezel on the watch.  I know, I know, I’m whining about silly problem.  But they are my problems, and they are all I've got.

You better step up your game Garmin. This is not a happy girl.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

So confused

It is necessary that I share this with you:
I have no words for this situation. What exactly is going on here? How does this stay in place?!?!? It makes no sense. I must now go and scour my eyes with comet. You just can't unseen something like that.
On Saturday I ran a whole 5.25 miles. It was pretty good, but slow. I realize that most all my runs are slow. I want to be faster but I don't know that I have the drive to get there. I also have no clue how to really train to get faster. When I investigate training plans, they always use all sorts of jargon like splits and fartlek and tempo. Now I can intellectually understand these directions. I just have no real understanding of how to realistically put a training plan in place.

Maybe someday it will all come together. Or I'll become extremely wealthy and hire a coach to train my pants off...literally.
Until then I will live in mediocrity...

Friday, June 6, 2014

Put On A Happy Face

I had absolutely no intention of running tonight. And I mean none! But I was threatened with bodily harm and financial ruin if I didn't get off my butt and hit the pavement. Ok, that last part might be a slight exaggeration of the facts, but it was my sister and she can be pretty scary if she needs to be. And remember how I said the other day that I havng run out side in forever? Yeah, that was a slight problem today...


Look how threatening she is. I was not the happiest camper by the end of the 3 miles. It was slow and humid and there were these things in the road that seemed to increase in elevation, I think they call them hills? Crap if you ask me. I need to start increasing the elevation on the treadmill so this isn't as much of a problem in the future.


Ok, so it might have been a little more fun than I let on initially. And despite the fact it was unplanned I was glad to go and have it done.


I plan on hiding from her tomorrow though....


Thursday, June 5, 2014



I had 4.25 really good miles today.  The kind of miles that go pretty easy and you’re not quite sure why.  I’m not going to think too hard about it and ruin my high, cause that’s pretty much the story of my life

One of my little private joys, that I will deny if you every tell anybody, is that I really like to catch up on my TV shows while running on the treadmill.  I don’t want get to watch TV a whole lot, not that I have a burning desire to spend gratuitous amounts of time sitting and vegging out, as fun as that sounds.  But I do enjoy being undisturbed by miniature versions of myself while watching a “grown up show.” So enters the iPad while running in place.  If you would have asked me a year ago if I liked running on the treadmill I would have said no, but now I think I like it. 

So my current “running” show is 24.  I never saw it when it was on air originally and my sister has this sick little obsession with Keifer Sutherland.  So I decided to give it a shot or risk her beating me to a pulp.  Other than the fact that the cell phones are all flip phones and it appears that people can stay awake for 32 hours or more it’s pretty good.  Of course I’m not all the way through so I will save my final judgment for another day.

Wait… Is that not Jack Bauer?????

Side Note: We recently tried to make the family watch Lost Boys at a shindig get together thingy.  It did not go over well. 

Seeing that I only get to watch a show once per day it’s gonna take a freaking long time to get though all 487 seasons.  I should be 50 by the time I finish 24.  Good times.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Let’s Cut the Crap

Candy crush is destroying lives!  Mine, namely.  I found my self spending large amount of time mindlessly shifting pretty little colored candies around the computer screen.  It would suck multiple minutes per day; hours per week.  Ask me what I got out of this? The only positive I can think of is hand eye coordination.  The negatives started to stack up quickly when I really got to thinking about it.  I neglected cleaning the house, playing with the kids, reading good books, the laundry, or even sleeping.  ME…. SLEEPING!!!!! 
So I finally made the decision to (gasp) delete the app.  That was 5 days ago.  And much to my surprise I am still alive and potentially better for it.  This small victory over the “internet” has me thinking of other areas of my life that are truly wasted time.
We make so many excuses about not having “time” for anything that we should do that is actually good for us and then spend so much effort wasting the actual time we “don’t have.”  I want to read good books and exercise appropriately without excuse and give my kids a mother who is present for them.  So starts my journey to cutting out the crap.  I almost can’t wait to see what else I can get rid of that truly doesn’t matter and doesn’t add to my life. Except candy, candy always matters.
jennifer lawrence candy

Today I ran about 4 miles today on the treadmill at my super slow peanut butter pace but the good news is that I can go 4 miles and not die during the process.  The next goal I have for myself is to increase the pace I am running but still run the same amount of time.  It’s my own little theory to increase my pace time.  It may not work, but I figure at least if I’m still running it can’t be all bad. Right?

At least I’ll be upright.