Sunday, August 26, 2012

Running Drought is Over


Yesterday I got up early to take the dog on a walk so that I could get it over and done with instead of dreading it all day.  Of course the dog had a great time and never seemed to get tired.  And because I would eventually like the wonder pup to be my running partner I decided that it was as good a day as any to start running.  I took it slow and didn’t push myself ( but when have I ever?)  And much to my surprise I made it a whole mile.  Pick your jaw up off the floor and swallow the drool hanging from your lip and stuff your tongue back in your face…


I know, blows my mind too.


Of course the dog didn’t think that I was moving fast enough for him, he decided to walk me.  Gonna have to work on that…


It was a great game for him, no so much for me.


Then all day yesterday I cleaned the house and got ready for the invasion of children that happened later in the evening for this girls 3rd birthday.



And that is truly what she asked for.


After the party you couldn’t even tell the house ever started as clean.  In fact, I will send them to your home if you need a wrecking service.  Just give me a call to arrange service. 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Granny Panties


So it turns out that if you take a few months off and do absolutely nothing in the way of physical fitness and then try to jump back in to said physical fitness like nothing changed, you will be sorely disappointed.  I climbed back on the old scale yesterday and about had a heart attack after falling to the floor in disbelief.  After a short time of cry and rocking myself in the corner whilst sucking my thumb I pulled myself up and put my big girl panties on (literally).  I’m pretty much starting from scratch.  After all that training I did for the Mini I back at physical fitness ground zero.


lifes great mysteries volume 19


So I’m starting with walking.  I’m still too scared to run anyway with my foot pain coming and going.  No matter what, it is 100 times better than in May when I would have taken an amputation to fix the problem.  Besides I have a great partner who has yet to make fun of me and my fat backside.


Me too buddy, me too…


After making circles around my house for 30 minutes I got a lesson in how to race trikes. 



Don’t worry, no one was hurt during the bike gang extravaganza though I may or may not have tried to show my kids how burn out on the hot wheel.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

To busy to write


The Olympics is sucking every last spare moment I have.  I have forgone even cleaning to watch.  My husband knows its serious when I don’t clean every day.  I can’t even focus on writing this because there might be some beach volleyball or shot put event on right now.  I gotta go….

Wang Xin of China competes in the women's 10m platform diving preliminary round at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

Crap,I missed water polo?!?!?!?!?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

You really should be watching the Olympics, RIGHT NOW!!!


Let me just start by saying, I love the Olympics!!!  If I could hole up in my house for the next two weeks, avoid all human contact,and have at least 5 screens displaying nothing but every available Olympic event, I would.  It might be pretty and I might really stink by the end of it but it would totally be worth it.  But since I actually have children and a husband to care for I will just have to settle for prime time coverage of old events.


And what about this crazy little freak of nature.  New world record.  But I lifted like 5 more pounds than this yesterday…


She could totally kick my butt and then lift me over her head and throw me.  Seriously,336lbs!!! I have trouble heaving my backside onto the kitchen counter…

BTW, I am getting a treadmill.  Watch out garage, we are going to be spending a lot of time together in the near future.  Get used to my stink and love it.

I gotta go, time for swimming!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

10 years going strong


I have been married for exactly 10 years.


My husband understands this better than anyone.  Don’t ya babe?

Aren’t you jealous?


And for said anniversary we went to dinner and a movie because we are completely original and loaded with money and can do anything we want.  So… The Dark Knight Rises it was.


Sorry Christian, I’m gonna wait and see how this whole marriage thing works out.


I have had the biggest crush on Christian Bale since I saw him in little women.


Christian Bale LW 1

The Dark Knight Rises was sooooooo good.  I will definitely be watching this movie again.  There were so many twists that even up until the end I was baffled.  But why would you cover Tom Hardy face???  That was just plain mean.  At least flash back a little more often to pre-Bane.


I will give you both equal time.

In other news, 2 days of walking in flip flops at a water park will make your plantar fasciitis flair up.  Epic Fail for these feet.  Not quite back to square one but some rest will be in order.  I’ll just have to have the slaves indentured servants children play fetch for things like oreos and milk.

Have you seen the Dark Knight Rises yet?

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Fat running is hard!!!


Thought I would give a quick update on my dangling appendages.  And by dangling appendages I mean my feet and not boobs.  I have faithfully spent the last 2 weeks doing some stretching and rolling of my feet every night involving a tennis ball and a frozen can of cranberry sauce.  I found a great website that has assisted me in my healing process.  At athletes training athletes they really line out how and why and what you should be doing for each type of injury.  Instead of the doctor handing you a sheet of paper you don’t understand and even wonder if he could possibly do the exercises he wants you to do with his big pot belly hanging out.  (Sidebar: I always wondered how a fat doctor could tell me I needed to loose weight or get healthier, uhhhhh, look in the mirror first.) 



So anyhoo, after my come to Jesus talk with myself, I got down to business and really have seen some results.  I am by no means pain free but I can get through a day at work and not hobble home on bloody stumps and when I get up in the morning that first step in only uncomfortable instead of feeling like “OMG a shotgun has just blasted through my heel.” 



Take note, feet!!!

Now the precarious thought…  When to start back to running.  Do I give it a few more weeks and see if they have more improvement or do I attempt a few very very very short runs and see how they feel? (Of course sitting on my backside has been much easier over all than running 13 miles.)  If only another type of cardio sounded remotely interesting I could abandon running all together.  Who am I kidding,  I am not coordinated enough to swim or bike. We are lucky I am capable of putting one foot in front of the other without falling over every 5th step.  I guess more rest would be better than re-injury…




On a totally unrelated note, have you tried these…



There are no words…. Go out, buy them now.  You can thank me later and I would like to publicly thank my friend Sarah for starting me on my love affair.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

County Fair Time


Impromptu visit today to the Vigo Co. Fair.  Thankfully it was not a sweltering hot mess today, only in the high 80’s.  The girls had been begging to do something and since I’m a cheapskate we went to the Fair while it was free.  Who am I kidding, I really went for this…


Walking Taco= Best invention EVER!!!!!

It was Swine Show Day so we were able to some nice clean hogs.  Only once did I hear, “Kelsey, get your pig!!!” and then saw a moderately large brown pig escaping through the crowd.  I’d like to believe that the pig truly escaped to find a new home where he can be free from the threat of “The Butcher”.  But then again probably rather just eat him as pork chops.


Of course there was a petting zoo where I made a new friend.


And if you haven’t seen City Slickers then go see it now and you will understand the reference.  This little guy wanted me to take him home (mainly to be prevented from being turned into burger).  He acted like a cat when you petted his head and pretty much asked me to scratch his chin.  We parted ways but not without a few tears.

And the girls made some new friends too.


She kept saying, “They so soft…”  like it was amazing.



I love blowing their minds with this information.

Now would think that a petting zoo would be a PG rated affair, but you would be wrong.  In the pot bellied pig pen there was a momma piggy and her piglets who were only 3 months old.  And lets just say, I had to have the birds and bees talk with the girls a little earlier than I’d hoped.  At least it was the abridged version and I only they gave them the bare bones of the story.  But every time we turned around we saw this…


And this…


And just when I get a cute shot of something cute, I get photo bombed by pig sex…


Seriously a sick pig.  Even the Mama pig couldn’t avoid her horny progeny.


She kept biting him and tossing him aside every time he’d jump her.  The kids were so confused.  I’m confused too, baby pig incest???


Over all it was a great trip.  A lot of walking but nothing harrowing.  I just hope to not have nightmares about being attacked by pot bellied piglets…

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Big swollen feet


Last Sunday I had a come to Jesus talk with myself about my feet.  It seems like I have been dealing with them forever and I am sick of it.  But when I really think about it I haven’t been as aggressive as I should be with trying to get better.  There has been a lot of “research” and internal debate about what I should be doing but not a lot of action has gone into my heels other than my self prescribed “rest”.  But considering my job has me on my feet for 14 hours a day for at least three days a week that rest idea has gone by the wayside.

huge feet are a sign of bigfoot

…and painfully swollen.

So for the last seven days I have faithfully done some stretching, icing and rolling of my feet.  It sucks, because the whole process takes at least 30 minutes since I have to do both feet.  BUT I can say that I have seen a small improvement.  They still hurt but the pain is not as extreme as in the past.  I don’t have a secret desire to cut my own feet off anymore.  So I am taking these small victories and rolling with them.  Still no running yet.  I’m too nervous for that but I’m hoping soon.


Well, my feet might be winning at least.

Speaking of running, I have an opportunity to possibly purchase a Sole F63 treadmill used.  We are mulling the decision over. And by we I mean DJ has said do it and I can’t decide if we should  and where in the world would we put it????  No really, tell me where I can put it so that I can just buy it and cancel my gym membership.


I plan on going over and test running on it to make sure it suits my stride and has enough power and then I just might take the plunge and purchase a giant clothes drying rack treadmill.


Time for “therapy”.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Living vicariously through Bob Costas


It has been 8 weeks since I have even entertained the thought of physical activity and I am now beginning to really want to be able to run.  My feet still hurt like a mother, but my brain needs to get out and run.  I am going to get serious about getting better, instead of hiding in my injury induced depression eating homemade buttercream icing on graham crackers. (Don’t judge my coping mechanisms.)

cupcake mugshot


I am so super excited for the Olympics this summer.  I’m thinking of taking a leave of absence from work in order to not miss a minute of coverage from London.  On second thought, I think I should probably just travel over there to make sure I get a proper handle on things.  A last minute ticket to London couldn’t be that expensive could it.




Or not..


Well, I guess having Bob Costas live my experience for me will have to do.  Maybe seeing all those athletes will get me inspired to be slightly less of a slob.  Or maybe not…  If only there was an Olympic event in number of cupcakes one could consume in 1 minute.  I’d totally win.  Don’t ask me how I know that I could eat a large amount of cupcakes in a small amount of time, just trust me.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Magic Mike


I just came home from my date with Mike.  Magic Mike…



Now don’t be jealous, it was just a one night stand.  Though we might see each other again in the near future if all goes right. 



Maybe I could hook you up with one of his friends and we could go on a double date.  Just let me know when your free.  Until then I plan on getting to know Channing a little better.


You are welcome…


PS: This is actually a good movie, even had a plot and everything.  There was more than a pretty face or two…or three or four.  But you can judge for yourself.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

House Purge 2012


House purge 2012 is practically over and I don’t believe that I have ever been more productive.  Of course this will only last for the next 4 days and then the wolves will descend on the house and wreck all sorts of havoc on my newly cleaned rooms.  We even cleaned the garage today (only 2 dead mice).

It may resemble this mess…


Do you think they will notice the toys and clothes that are now missing?  I seriously doubt it.


OK, maybe they will notice a little bit.

In separate news, I still haven’t worked out lately and it seems to be a habit for me.  I must make a mental note to get my butt in gear.  Or else that big juicy hamburger I had for lunch is going to come haunt me in my dreams.  Do you want to see what happens when you let a small child get a hold of your phone?




And that’s just a sampling of what I found.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Date Night


In the absence of children this week, the hubs and I decided to go on a bonafide date last night.   And by date I mean dinner and a movie because we can’t be any more inventive than that.  But we didn’t have to worry about a babysitter or getting home at curfew a decent hour ever!!!

Funny Miracle Whip Ecard: Our love for each other is almost as strong as our distaste for most everything else.

So Chili’s it was where I had a delicious Santa Fe Chicken Salad and he had the half rack of rib (Mississippi Dry Rub).  Excellent choice.  The salad was super spicy but in a good, “my tongue is not quite on fire but tingly in a good way spicy.”  After Chili’s I realized my poor time planning skills and had to figure out how to kill an hour and a half before the movie started.  So we did what we used to do in college we headed to the bookstore and wandered around and laughed at book covers.  Yes we choose to judge the book by the cover completely.  I did find a Brain Quest workbook for Little Girl #1 so that I can completely ruin summer for her and make home just like school for the next 3 months.  Go MOM!!!!


I would like to take a moment and personally thank Chris Hemsworth for topping off my night.


Something about a dirty man…

Snow White & the Huntsman was pretty good.  Kristin Stewart still needs some lessons on showing emotion and other miscellaneous acting skills.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Charlize Theron really makes the movie though.  She’s BA and I want to look like her when I grow up.


I know, and it makes me sad.

We still managed to be home by 11pm.  10 years ago I would have been out until at least 2am.  That’s what happens when you get old and can’t possibly go without sleep. Overall a great night, thanks D.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

30 day streak broken


Jillian Michaels just kicked my butt.  Her and her yoga DVD just had me sweating balls on my living room floor.  I haven't done a lick of exercise in 30 days so it baffles me that I picked today to just back into it. But that balls a rolling and I can’t stop now.




I’m going to be slightly bored this week.  My children ran off with Grandma and will spend the week in fun and frivolity while I spend the week doing a deep clean purge of my house.  I know you feel very sorry for me…


It’s time for me to spend the day waist deep in the front hall closet.  Adieu.

Monday, May 28, 2012

23 days and counting


I have just now crawled out of my cave of depression for a brief glimpse of sunlight before slipping back under cover of darkness.  My feet hurt… I can’t say any more than that.  And this whole mess just makes me more depressed the more I think about it.  It has been 23 days since I have run, and a whole lot more days since running felt good or wasn’t followed by extreme pain. 

In my depression I have spent a lot of time with good ole Dr. Google where I came across a website called athletes treating athletes.  It is basically a site where athletes can converge and share their different experiences and what has and hasn’t worked for them.  It also contains some very excellent information from athletic trainers that show you how to stretch, roll, and tape various body parts.  This part has been the great and wonderful bit.  I have always read that I should be icing and rolling my feet as well as using tennis balls for massage but what they never pin point is how you do it.  I’m a very visual person and this website has videos and diagrams of how to actually do this mysterious rolling and massage.  Hall-a-freaking-luja!!! 

I have done a few nights of said rolling with a can of frozen cranberries and some tennis ball massage.  Now I am by no means cured but I can tell a difference even if it is a small one.  So I plan on continuing to roll and ice and massage until I can walk without pain.  It is better than my other idea of just cutting my feet off.

Maybe one of these days I will be able to actually run again.  Never though I would say this, but I really miss it.

Monday, May 14, 2012

I’ll just run on my hands


Despite a week off from running and any other physical activity my feet still hurt like a mother.  And I go to bed every night thinking about all the things that I would like to do the next day but don’t because “the feet must rest”.  Well this is crap!!!



I’m dying to get some exercise, really to run, and feel like I’m at a dead end.  Now I know that 7 days off was not going to miraculously heal my feet and I could then run a sub 4 mile, but I was hoping for an ever so slight improvement.  I guess I’ll try and do a little research before starting something even though what I would like to do is just ignore my feet and run anyway.  Could I use this injury as an excuse for an in ground pool in the backyard?




My “vacation” is winding down and I an looking for an excuse to not go back at all.  In fact I am contemplating ways to earn a living from home: collecting cans on the highway, selling candy bars door to door, or finding a relative who just won the power ball.  I don’t know, just some ideas I’m kicking around.




I spent this past weekend at my Mom’s house visiting the fam.  It was a lot of fun.  I wish there were more pictures seeing as some pretty stupid antics happened involving a few bicycles, brown paper bags, and a make shift dance floor in the kitchen.  I hate to leave them (mainly because they feed me well), but they just won't pay you if you don’t go to your job.  So back in the Haute I am.



Two more days and it’s back to the grind.