Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm gonna need a nap


Lately there has been a lot of overtime at work and I usually can’t seem to fit any in due to life getting in the way, but I do like money so I managed to sign up for an overtime shift tonight.  I haven’t worked a night shift in over 4 years.  These decisions always sound great at the time you make them but this morning I question that decision.  I’m going to be REALLY sleepy tomorrow.  I hope that I can sleep at nap time, because today would be the day of all days that I won't be tired in the afternoon.  It should be interesting tonight, so I’ll just go ahead and apologize for the night now.


I end up working with people like this.


Or this…

And then crazy things tend to happen that are not allowed on film to protect the innocent.


Also on the good news front, I didn’t get locked in a crazy murderers basement.  We bought a new used desk and it is working out wonderfully.  I can now spend the new few months over obsessing about organizing this space and feeling productive.


Still a work in progress, and I need a desk chair now too.


I plan on running before work tonight,  it may happen earlier than expected if I can’t sleep.  We’ll see how that goes…

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Sweaty and Questionable


Isn’t if funny how you run into all sorts of people you know when you are sweaty and gross and possibly smell questionable?  Well that has happened to me today.  I had a 4 hour class at work which got over slightly early.  At which time I decided to use my time wisely and hit the gym.  Now the middle of the day is not my usual time for working out and as it turns out there are a lot of people that I know that choose the middle of the day to use the gym.  As you know I like to go when the '”Silver Sneakers” are there, but over the lunch hour is a much younger crowd.  Crapsticks!!

Funny Confession Ecard: I'd have a nicer butt if I wasn't so embarrassed by the exercise for nicer butts.

Anyhow, I ran 3 miles on the treadmill much to my surprise. (I had only told myself, “You only have to do one today.”)  and then finished out my hour of cardio on the elliptical.  All the while people I know, who are more fit than I by the way, felt the need to flaunt their physical prowess and make me feel like an overstuffed sausage in my running tights.  That's right, Sarah, I’m talking to you, you skinny little woman.  I will snap you in two.  By the way Sarah and I share a birthday that just around the corner.  Feel free to get us presents or shower us with cash.


Smile now Sarah, I’ll get you when your not looking.

This past weekend my mom and I went Antiqueing/Goodwilling.  It was fun had by all and I even found a few things for myself.Horse

This horse resembles a horse in my mom’s attic that me call ‘Ol Blue.  They wouldn’t let me ride him.


I let my mom pick her own outfit out at Goodwill.  We are just gonna have to buy her clothes for her from now on.

We did have the find of the year.  A pair of brown leather, barley worn, Ralph Lauren Kitten heels.  And not the Chaps brand of Ralph Lauren, the actually, “I’m too expensive to actually spend money on” Ralph Lauren shoes.  They are a size 9 so these big old feet aren’t getting into them but I bought them anyway and am going to make my sister wears them since she has smaller feet than I.  You just can’t pass up that kind of deal for $3.50.


I also thought that I found a library table that I could use as a desk but the dolls that were guarding it wouldn’t let me have it so I backed off.


Though I have not found the desk I have been looking for.  I have now resorted to Craigslist and hope that the desk that I am going to see tonight is not a trap where I will end up stuffed into someone's basement and forgotten about.  So if you don’t hear from me in a few days you know I’m in someone's basement on the East side of Terre Haute.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I’m the worst blogger


Well, not only am I the worst blogger but I’m also the worst at motivating myself to workout.  Big fail on my part.  I did manage to drag myself out of my winter induce coma and ran two whole miles (whoopee) on the treadmill and then spent some time on the elliptical so that I didn’t feel like a complete failure. 

At least I didn’t fail THIS big.


I can’t keep going 13 days between runs!!!  It’s unacceptable.  I think I need to move somewhere where the weather is semi-nice all year round so that I don’t get sucked into these winter slumps.  Take today for example today, it was grey, misty, cold.  In short, a great day for sleeping.

That’s it, I’m moving!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

4 am is not my friend!

Here is a brilliant idea. Wake up at 4:30am and run before working a 12 hour shift. This is my not so happy face post run. Bad idea Jess!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Can you hire someone to do your exercise?


It was a close call this morning.  I spent a lot of time waffling back and forth on the issue.  Should I or shouldn’t I?  Well, I really should, but I don’t really want to.  Of, course my backside chimed in and reminded me of its size. (Jerk!)  So to the gym I went.  I ran 3 miles and walked another 1.5 miles at a 4.0 incline, overall, productive I’d  say.  Unlike this…


If I had a quarter for every time this happened to me…

I also managed to change to color of the grout in my kitchen.  The home builder did white grout!  Then didn’t seal it.  Who does white grout?  Well I could never get it clean enough for my taste and it only seemed to get dingier everyday.  It’s a nice brownish, grey color now.  Very boring looking but clean and uniform.


Only if you pay me too.

If you had seen it before you would be amazed at the transformation.  I’m wishing that I had taken a before pic, too late now.  I plan on doing the laundry room too, so maybe I’ll remember to take a picture then.


Quick question, is it wrong to use men's deodorant?  I’ve said before that I don’t care to wear the deodorant that often, but I will wear it if the occasion demands or I can’t stand my own stench.  But do I have to use the women's kind or is it Kosher to use my husbands?  I’m just curious since I bought some that he doesn’t like and I hate to waste anything.  As long as its doesn’t make me grow facial hair or drop testicles I plan on using it.  I’ll let you know of any adverse effects.


Have you done anything questionable today?


Monday, January 9, 2012

Cameltoe what????


First off I have to say, “Take that, random opponent.”


My mad word making skills have nearly made me world famous.  I plan on retiring soon from my winnings.  Don’t be sad. I’ll let you win too on occasion just so my head doesn’t get too big.


After stressing my brain near its breaking point on words with friends I did decided to run some.  Two miles at a nice slow-as-molasses pace and then 30 more minutes on the elliptical.  It wasn’t rocket science but it’s over and I feel better for it.  Rihanna on Pandora provided me with some good movin’ music though I was entirely distracted by the amount of people in the gym with me.  I had to be the only person younger than 55 there this morning with the majority of the population being over 75.  And since it’s the new year it was packed.  I can’t wait till some of those people realize their dream of six pack abs are over and give up the new years resolution to “get in shape”.  I need less people around me when I work out, it makes me nervous and I start foaming at the mouth and biting others.  It’s not pretty.


Watch out she’ll bite you and then you become the Hulk.


Today was also grocery day and seeing that I am always short on time I skipped changing clothes and grocery shopped in my running tights and sweatshirt.  I do this more often than not and don’t see much wrong with it.  I know it’s skanky and I don’t really care.  Well I guess someone else didn’t think much of me either and let me know. Just minding my own business, walking into Kroger, a man who was in his mid 40’s walked by me and then turned around and yelled, “Camel toe” at me and then promptly walked away before I could come up with anything witty to say.  Of course I looked down to see if I did indeed have a “camel toe” and guess what…nothing.  Everything appeared to be fine.  So, was this fine, upstanding, chivalrous gentleman making fun or was he just trying to make me look?  Either way I thought about following him to high five him right in the face.  Jerk wad!!!!  And quit looking at my crotch!!!

Take that stupid, gross, obnoxious man I don’t know.


Anybody say anything entirely inappropriate to you today?

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Dear Mucus,


You are no longer welcome in my respiratory system.  You will be asked to evacuate the premises with in 24 hours or face certain destruction by means of fire bomb or guillotine.  It’s your choice but know this, I will make you my submissive.




Well now that I have that out of the way maybe I’ll be able to have normal respirations in the near future.  I am so sick of waking up in the morning and hacking, coughing and expelling crap from my nose and throat.  And just when you think that you’ve got it all it starts again.  It’s like a small leprechaun has set up residence in my lungs and is mixing cement down there.

                   PS don’t google the word mucus!


So this week getting back in the running game has been slow going but I’m getting there.  I did 1.5 miles on the treadmill and then did some more elliptical work.  I know, I know,  don’t do too much Jess, you’ll over work your self.  Don’t worry, I know how to take it easy.  Don’t want to over work this delicate body.


By the way,  I’m slightly dreading the next 36 days.  It’s the slow death march before the dreaded 3-0.  At which time I’m officially considered old and you can only refer to me as ma’am, at which time I will be drinking geritol and worrying about my bowel movements on a daily basis.  At least I can rejoice in the fact that my sister is always older than me.


How old is OLD?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Stank Face


You ever walk into a room and think you are alone so you think your safe to pass some gas?  Yeah, that happened to me today at the gym.  I haven’t been to the gym in over 2 weeks, what a way to welcome yourself back.  I could have sworn I was alone so I let it go, and it was nasty, noisy and slightly smelly.  That’s when I caught sight of her out of the corner of my eye.  Sitting there like she didn’t hear or see a thing.  Big fail Jess!  Whatever!!! She was probably on of those people that join the gym for the month of January and then quits shortly thereafter.  I may not see her again, or I could have to face her knowing she calls me stank face behind my back everyday. 


Sorry Johnny, I wouldn’t even think of farting near you.

Back to the gym though,  I ran just over one mile and spent 30 or so minutes on the elliptical.  Sad, I know but at least I got my fat butt back to the gym and did something.  Now that the holidays are over I have no excuses left in my bag.  It’s shut up and run time.  It did help that I created a new station of Pandora, “Rihanna Radio”  almost as good as “Pink Radio”.  It help get me moving despite my desire to just go back to bed and sleep all day. 


I’ve only got one race scheduled for May and it’s a half.  It would probably be good to look for some others to get me really motivated.  These cold winter months always make me depressed, I probably have Season Affective Disorder.  I’m going to need something to look forward to other than poking my eyeballs out slowly with a spoon.


How do you keep motivated?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year


My new years resolution…Moderation!!!  In everything.  I like to set goals that I will probably be able to attain.  This is why I don’t set goals like, run a 50K or loose 75 lbs. in 3 months.  These things are things that will not be achieved by myself so I don’t entertain them.  I’m realistic about life.  So this new goal of moderations seems doable to me.  I tend to go gung ho in everything: eating, exercise, hobbies and then I tend to crash and burn and abandon the pursuit which then leaves me feeling craptastic.  So I’m done with this jazz.

Changed my mind, I want to win an eating contest.

By the way 2012 has been absolutely wonderful.  It was kicked off with a bedtime of 12:30am by the kidoos, a 4:30am asthma attack from Little Girl #1 which required 2 breathing treatments and some cuddling with Memaw Debbie who just happened to be spending the night.  Then at around 7:00am the puking began from Little Girl #1 which has been happening intermittently ever since.  Little Girl #2 has been illness free at this point but I expect that to change at any moment.

Exactly why I quit tanning.

So our home is now a quarantined area that will need firebombed to destroy all germ evidence.  Let’s hope this isn’t an omen of how the year will continue.